Microtheme Revisions

Original:
    In the past few years of my education, I have been taught to write using the five- paragraph essay technique. My high school teachers have drilled this method into my brain making sure I had all the components of the five-paragraph essay. During my first week in college, I walked into my introduction to writing class to find out the five-paragraph essay isn’t the only way to write. Is there a reason why students are being taught a broader method of writing from the very beginning?
    Teaching students the five-paragraph method may be detrimental and hold students back from their writing capability. Using rhetorical knowledge requires that one must stretch and reach for different points of view. Why then is the five-paragraph technique the only way that our high school teachers have taught us? Is it because there are so many other important to high school teachers don’t know that this is a concern and think that by mastering the five-paragraph essay we will be able to write better because of out background knowledge. Also, teachers have been using the five-paragraph method for years and maybe they don’t realize the five-paragraph essay does not exclusively define writing. The traditional method might be falling away.
    By looking into this dilemma high school students’ knowledge might be increased and perhaps allow college freshman to have an easier transition from high school to college.

Revision:
    I hate the five-paragraph essay writing style. It takes all the thinking out of actually writing an essay. High school teachers have drilled this method into students’ brains year after year. My first college writing class was a complete shock. Why is this the only way that students are taught in high schools?
    One reason why the five-paragraph essay writing style is most commonly used in high schools could be that it is easiest for teacher. Since students have grown up learning it they figure one more year won’t hurt anything. Another reason might be that students have gotten so used to writing this way that changing it would be too difficult on both the student and teacher. Students have used this method for enough years that it has just become natural. They can complete it without thinking. Students may also just be lazy. They don’t want to use rhetorical knowledge to find different points of view.
   
If we could begin to take a step back and look at the way that high school students are taught to write, we might be able to think what we can do to improve the high school to college transition. We might be able to think about a way to teach students a broader range of writing styles so that they can begin to think about what they are writing.